Random Ramblings

Love at first sniff.

So what if you don’t have a six pack? At least you have got a deodorant! Think fly boarding in the shadow of the Burj al Arab and parachute jumps at Zero Gravity. Think winking at the valet as you toss him keys to your Lamborghini. Think 28000 AED bottles of champagne in plush lounges and then think of them again as your yacht races through the water. Think of all the beautiful people around you and then of all the hearts you would have to break that night. Now cut to you and your deodorant, then wake up.

This is Dubai, of course you have to wake up in the end because there ain’t no Axe effect here! Let me rephrase that. The Axe Effect might well be here but this is just as much as you could do in an Axe TV commercial if it was shot or aired in the UAE. Ok, you don’t really have to wake up in the end but you do have to keep it civil. No peep holes, no innuendos and no man walking out of an elevator with ‘that look’ on his face as the 5 women that follow him fix their makeup and hair. We keep it clean baby.

That does not mean whatsoever that the ‘Axe effect’ does not exist. You know; man sprays on some deodorant and women find themselves inexplicably drawn towards him. There are countless variations worldwide but the gist of it all is ‘involuntary seduction’. This ‘effect’ draws women in flocks to any man who sprays himself with Axe deodorant. Historically, this has been one of the most successful marketing claims worldwide. It has been running for well over 15 years but  I’m not sure if the Unilever guys (company that owns the AXE brand) had the knowledge that we do now when they first aired the campaign.

According to a leading British newspaper, scientists can now prove that men who are not blessed with good looks can significantly make up for their lack of appeal by using perfumed deodorants. The article also stated that the effects are the same for a wide range of deodorants and are only applicable to less masculine men. So basically if you are a scrawny and unassuming man, one spray of a deodorant could transform you into someone who is chased by hordes of beautiful young women in seconds, just like in the TV commercial.

While the sales of deodorants will now skyrocket further, I think the potential outcome of this breakthrough discovery could be devastating for a number of other industries. I fear gyms will now be empty, luxury car sales would go down and clinics and parlours offering grooming and aesthetic services for men could go bankrupt. You see men are lazy by nature and if Sigmuend Freud is to be believed, every single thing that men do, is to attract women towards them. So imagine if they knew that they could achieve that by the pushing of a button and did not need to have a defined jawline or six pack abs. Do you think they would attempt to do it in any other way?

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